The Power of Patience: Lessons from the Marshmallow Test
In the late 1960s, psychologist Walter Mischel conducted what would later become one of the most famous studies in behavioral psychology: the Marshmallow Test.
The experiment was simple but profound. A group of four-year-olds was placed in a room, each given a marshmallow. The instructions were clear:
They could eat it right away, OR wait 15–20 minutes without touching it and receive a second marshmallow as a reward.
Some children couldn’t resist and ate the marshmallow immediately. Others distracted themselves, covered their eyes, or hummed songs to endure the wait — and in the end, enjoyed the sweet reward of two marshmallows.
Years later, Mischel followed up on the children. The results were eye-opening:
- Those who gave in quickly tended to have lower self-esteem, were more prone to envy, easily frustrated, and often struggled with stress.
- Those who managed to delay gratification were generally more motivated, academically successful, emotionally intelligent, and even healthier.
The study revealed a powerful truth: the ability to delay gratification can shape the course of our lives.
Patience doesn’t just build character — it builds success. The Marshmallow Test wasn’t really about candy. It was about life, choices, and the rewards that come when we learn to wait.
So, how can we apply these lessons in our daily lives — in work, relationships, finances, and even business?
Lesson 1: Avoid the Temptation
In the original experiment, some children avoided staring at the marshmallow to make waiting easier. They looked away, covered their eyes, or sang songs. They knew that removing the trigger would help them stay disciplined.
In real life, this principle is just as relevant. If you’re trying to save money, why keep scrolling through online shops at midnight? If you’re trying to eat healthy, why stock your fridge with soda and chips?
- Want to buy that expensive dress but can’t afford it yet? Don’t go inside the store.
- Trying to quit smoking? Don’t hang out in areas where everyone’s puffing away.
- Planning to save for travel? Mute those “sale alerts” that tempt you into impulse buying.
It sounds simple, but the key is this: we don’t always need more willpower — we need fewer triggers.
Just like the child who turned away from the marshmallow, success often starts with creating an environment that supports our goals.
Lesson 2: Find Satisfying Alternatives
One clever child in the study licked the table around the marshmallow to cope with temptation. Silly as it sounds, he found a harmless way to pass the time until the bigger reward arrived.
In life, we also need “alternatives” to manage our impulses. For example:
- Instead of buying the latest gadget on credit, save first and reward yourself with a smaller purchase, like a nice meal or book, while you wait.
- If you’re too busy for dinner and a movie with friends, finish your tasks first, then join them later for coffee. You may miss part of the fun, but you still connect without sacrificing your responsibilities.
- Trying to cut sugar? Swap soda for fruit-infused water or herbal tea.
Finding substitutes helps us stay disciplined without feeling deprived. Discipline doesn’t always mean denial — it often means smarter choices.
Lesson 3: Focus on the Reward
Why did some kids manage to wait? Because they knew two marshmallows were better than one.
The same principle applies to life. Patience is easier when you have a clear vision of the reward waiting for you.
When I left a high-paying corporate job to start my own business, my income dropped to less than half. Some months, I questioned my decision. But I kept visualizing the future: a time when I’d be financially independent, doing work I loved, and having the freedom to control my schedule.
That long-term vision carried me through the lean years. And true enough, my business grew — eventually surpassing what I would’ve earned if I stayed employed.
This is the essence of patience: short-term sacrifice for long-term gain.
Whether it’s saving for retirement, building a career, or getting fit, keeping your eyes on the bigger reward makes the wait bearable — and meaningful.
The Marshmallow Test and Money: A Direct Connection
The Marshmallow Test isn’t just a psychology experiment; it’s also a financial blueprint.
Think about it:
- People who can’t resist instant gratification often overspend, swipe their credit cards for unnecessary purchases, or chase get-rich-quick schemes.
- People who practice delayed gratification build savings, invest wisely, and grow wealth steadily over time.
Here’s a simple example:
If you spend ₱5,000 on a new gadget today, you enjoy it for a while. But if you invest that same amount in a mutual fund or stock portfolio that grows at 8% annually, in 10 years it could be worth more than ₱10,000.
It’s literally like choosing between one marshmallow today or two tomorrow — except in real life, the “tomorrow” could mean a much larger reward.
Patience in Relationships and Careers
The lessons of the Marshmallow Test extend beyond money:
- In relationships: People who rush into commitments without discernment often end up hurt or dissatisfied. Those who wait, observe, and nurture trust usually enjoy stronger, more lasting connections.
- In careers: Employees who constantly jump from one job to another chasing higher pay may earn quick gains but lack depth in skills. Those who stay, learn, and grow often become leaders or specialists in their fields.
- In fitness and health: Crash diets and “instant results” don’t last. True transformation requires consistent effort over months or even years.
In every area of life, the same principle applies: patience pays off.
How to Cultivate Patience in Daily Life
Patience is like a muscle — the more you practice, the stronger it gets. Here are practical ways to build it:
- Practice small waits. Wait five minutes before checking your phone, or one day before buying something online. Train your brain to delay gratification in small things.
- Set clear goals. Visualize your “second marshmallow.” The clearer the reward, the easier it is to stay patient.
- Create accountability. Tell a friend about your goals, or use apps that track your progress. External accountability helps you stay disciplined.
- Celebrate milestones. Patience doesn’t mean ignoring progress. Reward yourself for small wins while waiting for bigger goals.
Final Thought
The Marshmallow Test isn’t really about marshmallows — it’s about life choices.
The children who learned to wait didn’t just earn a second treat; they developed a mindset that carried into their teenage and adult years, shaping their confidence, intelligence, and success.
Patience is not just a virtue; it’s an investment. It requires discipline in the short term but offers compounding rewards in the long run.
Whether you’re saving money, building a business, nurturing a relationship, or simply striving to improve yourself, remember this: what you resist today may open doors to a bigger tomorrow.
So the next time you face a “marshmallow moment” — whether it’s a purchase, a decision, or a shortcut — ask yourself:
Do I want one now, or two later?
The choice you make could shape your future.
